Why Is My Teenager Always on Their Phone?

Do You Help With Social Media Addiction?

Yes — and I understand the pull from the inside. I got hooked on TikTok while trying to create videos to help parents. The irony wasn't lost on me. I've also seen how Instagram damaged my own relationships — the constant checking, the comparisons, the manipulation. I help families break free from the same patterns.

Is My Child Addicted to Social Media?

Social media becomes addiction when it stops being enjoyable and starts being compulsive — when they scroll to escape negative feelings rather than for genuine connection. The difference matters because the approach is completely different. After getting hooked on TikTok myself, I can assess where your child actually is on the spectrum.

There's an important distinction between heavy use and addiction. A teenager who's active on Instagram but still maintains friendships, grades, and sleep is different from one who can't stop even when they want to.

The key indicator is why they're scrolling. Are they connecting with friends? Exploring interests? Or are they numbing themselves, avoiding homework, escaping anxiety? I scrolled TikTok for hours not because it was fun — but because stopping felt unbearable.

Context matters more than time. 30 minutes of comparison scrolling can be more harmful than 2 hours of chatting with friends. I help you understand what YOUR child is actually doing online.

How Do I Set Social Media Limits That Actually Work?

Limits fail when they feel arbitrary or punitive. "One hour a day" means nothing when each scroll is designed to keep them going. I'll help you create boundaries your child understands and accepts — because buy-in matters more than strict rules.

Time limits alone don't work because the problem isn't quantity — it's the relationship. A teen who uses social media intentionally for 2 hours is healthier than one who "only" uses it for 1 hour but checks compulsively 50 times.

Phone-free zones and times work better than overall limits. No phones during meals, no phones in bedrooms after 9pm, no phones first thing in the morning. These create natural boundaries without constant negotiation.

The key is collaborative limit-setting. When your teenager understands WHY the boundary exists and has input into HOW it's implemented, they're far less likely to find workarounds. I help you have that conversation.

Should I Take My Teenager's Phone Away?

Taking the phone creates short-term compliance but long-term rebellion. Their entire social life exists on that device — removing it feels like social death. But sometimes a reset IS necessary. The answer depends on severity, age, and your relationship. I'll help you decide and execute the right approach.

The case against taking it: Social media IS how teens communicate now. Being the only one without it creates genuine social isolation. Removing it also removes your ability to guide their relationship with technology — they just learn to hide it better.

The case for taking it: Sometimes things have gotten so bad that a complete reset is necessary. If they're showing genuine addiction signs, if it's affecting their mental health severely, if they agree things are out of control — a temporary removal with a clear reintroduction plan can work.

The middle ground usually works best: Adjusted access, phone-free times, content limits, accountability apps. I help families find the right balance between protection and preparation for adult independence.

What Age Should My Child Get Social Media?

Most platforms require 13, but readiness isn't about age — it's about maturity, family values, and whether your child can handle the psychological manipulation built into these apps. I help families decide the right time and set up accounts properly from day one.

The legal minimum (13) isn't a recommendation. It's a privacy law requirement (COPPA in the US, UK GDPR). Platforms use 13 because they legally must — not because it's developmentally appropriate. Many experts suggest 14-16 as more realistic.

Readiness signs to look for: Can they handle criticism without spiralling? Do they have real-world friendships? Can they put devices down when asked? Do they come to you when something upsets them online? If the answer to most of these is "no," they're not ready — regardless of age.

What I've seen in 12 years: The children who do best on social media are those whose parents set it up WITH them, established expectations before the first login, and maintained open conversations. The worst outcomes? Parents who handed over access and hoped for the best.

The peer pressure reality: "Everyone else has it" is real. But plenty of families are delaying — the Smartphone Free Childhood movement now includes 40% of UK schools. You're not alone in waiting, and I can help you navigate the social pressure.

How Do I Talk to My Child About Social Media Dangers?

Lectures don't work — teenagers tune out warnings from adults who "don't understand." The conversation that works is curious, not preachy. I'll help you have discussions that actually land, using approaches I've refined with hundreds of families.

Why the usual approach fails: When you say "social media is dangerous," your teenager hears "you're naive and I don't trust you." They've grown up online — it's their world. Coming in with warnings feels like an outsider criticising their home.

What works instead: Curiosity. "Show me what you like about TikTok." "What's popular right now?" "Has anyone ever been weird in your DMs?" Start from genuine interest, not interrogation. They're more likely to open up when they're explaining their world to you.

The dangers they actually face: Comparison culture (feeling inadequate), FOMO (can't disconnect), algorithm manipulation (content designed to provoke emotion), predators in DMs (rarer but real), sleep disruption (scrolling at 2am), and identity distortion (curating a fake self). Each needs a different conversation.

Building the ongoing relationship: This isn't one talk — it's an ongoing dialogue. The goal is that when something worrying happens (and it will), they come to you instead of hiding it. That only happens if they believe you'll respond with help, not punishment.

Remember the statistics: 50% of 10-11 year olds wouldn't tell their parents if something worried them online — because they're scared of getting in trouble. Your response to small things determines whether they'll come to you for big things.